The very first bit...

A tiny bit of background to start with.

Kats PI came about as the result of a throwaway comment on a discussion forum. Being the person I am, I couldn't fail to take up the challenge of making the 'Good Morning' Thread just that little bit more interesting. Here's what happened the first day.

The case of the Dale Winton kidnapping

Thursday August 19th 2004

stumbles into the morning thread ridiculously late, with blouse all skew whiff and hair looking like it's been dragged through a hedge backwards...

Good lord, am I late? You just would not believe what happened to me on the way in.

Firstly, I witnessed the kidnapping of Dale Winton by the Fake Tan Freedom Association. Naturally, I rushed to the local police station to report it as soon as I'd recovered from the shock (with the aid of several large brandies and the assistance of Sven from downstairs.)

The police seemed to think I had something to do with it, and tried the third degree on me. Fortunately I knew all the words to 'When Will I See You Again' so they were out of luck there. They tried to rough me up, but I was far too rough for them, and used several words which made even the sergeant blush (and he used to be a docker!)

Anyway, they were just about to take me to the cells when I made a break for it, and had to run through the woods to escape them. They had the tracker dogs and everything, but I managed to throw them off the scent by laying a false trail of Impulse Body Spray.

Then all I had to do was get the bus and get to work. I think I'll go and have a lie down now.